Monday, July 7, 2008
Impending bankruptcy
I have discovered a new store. Variety Liquidations, in Deliverance City, is just that. They have all sorts of liquidated, clearance, etc. stuff. Most notably, they have a lot of Target's discontinued Hello Kitty stuff!!! My plan is to go up there and check out the stuff every Monday while Mr. Samoa is at gaming.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
That thumping noise...
Is me slamming my head into my desk, repeatedly.
I received a phone message yesterday afternoon from Mom, to notify me that Dad was in the hospital with a kidney stone. He's had them before and it's generally nothing critical, but Mother has been untruthful in the past about the true critical nature of a situation, so I wanted to get ahold of them anyways. Called home, no answer. Called Aunt and Uncle, no answer. (All were visiting Dad, as it turned out.) I was able to get through to his room via the hospital switchboard. Mom couldn't talk for long because of the cramped quarters, so I asked Dad to ask her when she'd be home so I could call her then.
(Background. The Deliverance City fireworks had gotten postponed to last night because of the rain Friday. We had intended to go, but in unrelated events neither Mr. Samoa nor I felt up to it so we didn't. Mother knew we were intending to go.)
So, Dad asks her. She claimed she didn't know. I then told him to ask her what time visiting hours ended, thinking that end of hours + 1/2 hour would = ETA at home. He asked her, and then I hear this shriek of "But the FIREWORKS! They have to go to the FIREWORKS!"
o_O! So there I was trying to force my jaw off of the ground. Dad, even in his stoned state, had the presence of mind to lie. He told her, "Oh, they're still going! She just wants to know what time to call!" Thus, I got the info, call was made, all lived happily ever after. Dad sounded stoned but otherwise perfectly normal, and he's apparently insisting on wearing his Kenworth hat in bed, so I took all this to mean the situation was not grave; we are going up today. But, we are going to have to lie about the fireworks, because we wouldn't want to miss the fireworks just because Dad is in the HOSPITAL or anything!!! Because they certainly haven't happened every single year since 1776 and will never happen again! Also they are not available for purchase so you can do your own any damn time you want! (smoke billows from ears)
Mother Samoa put it best. She said, "I shouldn't laugh, but that is just so typical of your mom!" This is further proof of Caroline's long held theory that Mom is an alien being.
I received a phone message yesterday afternoon from Mom, to notify me that Dad was in the hospital with a kidney stone. He's had them before and it's generally nothing critical, but Mother has been untruthful in the past about the true critical nature of a situation, so I wanted to get ahold of them anyways. Called home, no answer. Called Aunt and Uncle, no answer. (All were visiting Dad, as it turned out.) I was able to get through to his room via the hospital switchboard. Mom couldn't talk for long because of the cramped quarters, so I asked Dad to ask her when she'd be home so I could call her then.
(Background. The Deliverance City fireworks had gotten postponed to last night because of the rain Friday. We had intended to go, but in unrelated events neither Mr. Samoa nor I felt up to it so we didn't. Mother knew we were intending to go.)
So, Dad asks her. She claimed she didn't know. I then told him to ask her what time visiting hours ended, thinking that end of hours + 1/2 hour would = ETA at home. He asked her, and then I hear this shriek of "But the FIREWORKS! They have to go to the FIREWORKS!"
o_O! So there I was trying to force my jaw off of the ground. Dad, even in his stoned state, had the presence of mind to lie. He told her, "Oh, they're still going! She just wants to know what time to call!" Thus, I got the info, call was made, all lived happily ever after. Dad sounded stoned but otherwise perfectly normal, and he's apparently insisting on wearing his Kenworth hat in bed, so I took all this to mean the situation was not grave; we are going up today. But, we are going to have to lie about the fireworks, because we wouldn't want to miss the fireworks just because Dad is in the HOSPITAL or anything!!! Because they certainly haven't happened every single year since 1776 and will never happen again! Also they are not available for purchase so you can do your own any damn time you want! (smoke billows from ears)
Mother Samoa put it best. She said, "I shouldn't laugh, but that is just so typical of your mom!" This is further proof of Caroline's long held theory that Mom is an alien being.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Fourth of July Follies
I almost got stuck at work because we had what we thought was a no-show. This would have been only annoying, if I hadn't been in mega-pain. I had Mr. Samoa bring my pain pills. Then, the girl called. There had been a mixup as to what shift she was supposed to work, and she came flying in. So I only got stuck for two hours. I felt horrible even thinking about complaining, as the guy I was working with was pulling a double! But, alas, chronic pain calls. Oh well, wouldn't be a holiday at work without a crisis.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
More walk news
Pups and I were out on our walk again. We were walking up the road when I saw an ambulance pull out of Felix' road. It wasn't going sirens and lights but it was headed purposefully for the hospital. I wonder if it is too much to hope that Felix finally poisoned himself on his own venom? I do so love karma.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Oopsie
I misplaced Mr. Samoa for about five minutes this evening.
He had gone out to mow the grass, which is less of a fight now that he finally got his $*%^$%^ power lawnmower. Presently, I realized that I didn't hear the mower engine. I went out to investigate. Mower is at rest in the front yard, no Mr. Samoa. I think maybe the thing ran out of gas, so check the garage. Still no Mr. Samoa. His car is still there, as is mine. I think he might have gone to the bathroom and I didn't hear him, so check the house. Still no Mr. Samoa. I'm debating whether or not I should panic at this point, so I decided to go check the property for a final time before calling in the Marines. I'm doing this when from our small, rather secluded side yard, I hear "Clip clip clip."
Yes, you guessed it. Mr. Samoa was in the side yard clipping renegade bamboo. I hadn't seen or heard him at first because he was concealed by bamboo. I felt like a big, fat dumbass.
(Speaking of my car, got it back from the shop. The "whoppity" is apparently a loose cover of some sort, which they could not manage to tighten back down. It will not harm the car but that sound is going to drive me slowly insane, so I think I'm going to put Mr. Samoa and Dad Samoa on the case. And perhaps some duct tape.)
He had gone out to mow the grass, which is less of a fight now that he finally got his $*%^$%^ power lawnmower. Presently, I realized that I didn't hear the mower engine. I went out to investigate. Mower is at rest in the front yard, no Mr. Samoa. I think maybe the thing ran out of gas, so check the garage. Still no Mr. Samoa. His car is still there, as is mine. I think he might have gone to the bathroom and I didn't hear him, so check the house. Still no Mr. Samoa. I'm debating whether or not I should panic at this point, so I decided to go check the property for a final time before calling in the Marines. I'm doing this when from our small, rather secluded side yard, I hear "Clip clip clip."
Yes, you guessed it. Mr. Samoa was in the side yard clipping renegade bamboo. I hadn't seen or heard him at first because he was concealed by bamboo. I felt like a big, fat dumbass.
(Speaking of my car, got it back from the shop. The "whoppity" is apparently a loose cover of some sort, which they could not manage to tighten back down. It will not harm the car but that sound is going to drive me slowly insane, so I think I'm going to put Mr. Samoa and Dad Samoa on the case. And perhaps some duct tape.)
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Starting July off on the right foot
It must be the International Convention of Assholes this weekend or something.
Pups and I had just set out on our walk (we went nowhere near Felix's house, so as to avoid besmirching his rarefied air with our malign presence). We were getting ready to turn the corner when a station wagon pulled up to the stop sign. Suddenly, a roar of absolute rage erupted from the station wagon. I thought it might be Felix, and was just getting ready to explain to him that he could either leave by himself or leave with the cops, when I got a better look. It was a couple, a guy and a girl. The guy was throwing an absolute screaming fit at the woman, which could all be easily heard because his windows were down. The woman was just kind of staring out the window. She had the absolute saddest look on her face, a combination of resignation, "here we go again", and sadness. You could tell this was not the first time it had happened, nor was it likely to be the last.
Unfortunately, he didn't do anything handy such as attempt to strike her or start cursing, so calling the cops would have done absolutely no good. (Believe me, I thought about it.) To quote the Queen of the World, "what the fuck is WRONG with people?"
Pups and I had just set out on our walk (we went nowhere near Felix's house, so as to avoid besmirching his rarefied air with our malign presence). We were getting ready to turn the corner when a station wagon pulled up to the stop sign. Suddenly, a roar of absolute rage erupted from the station wagon. I thought it might be Felix, and was just getting ready to explain to him that he could either leave by himself or leave with the cops, when I got a better look. It was a couple, a guy and a girl. The guy was throwing an absolute screaming fit at the woman, which could all be easily heard because his windows were down. The woman was just kind of staring out the window. She had the absolute saddest look on her face, a combination of resignation, "here we go again", and sadness. You could tell this was not the first time it had happened, nor was it likely to be the last.
Unfortunately, he didn't do anything handy such as attempt to strike her or start cursing, so calling the cops would have done absolutely no good. (Believe me, I thought about it.) To quote the Queen of the World, "what the fuck is WRONG with people?"
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