It's cold

And everywhere hurts. The heels of my hands freaking hurt. Is it July yet?

This makes no sense

Or, there are some really dumb chicks out there.

My friend Bob got dumped recently. Now, know the following about Bob:

* Is a Computer Guy, so will shortly be making big $$

* Bakes

*Cooks

*Cleans

*Likes cats

*Plays Diablo II

*Likes metal

Now, what kind of a dingbat chick dumps someone who bakes and cleans???!!! If you're smarter than she is, Bob is on the market. Probably better if you are tall. And smart enough not to cut off your lifetime supply of cookies and cakes.

Dog stew, anyone?

Yeah. So we gave Pumpkin a bath, then we gave Buster a bath. Pumpkin, apparently irate at having his fur trimmed and being scrubbed, snuck into our bedroom while we were washing Buster and pissed on our bed. Right on Mr. Samoa's side of the bed. Which was not discovered until Mr. Samoa was making the bed for the night. (GAG CHOKE RETCH)So here I am, at 12:45 AM, washing bedclothes. Good thing I wasn't particularly tired in the first place! For Round 2, Pumpkin decided to dig in the garbage while we were changing the sheets. Did I mention who's going to be spending the night in his crate? :P If not the stewpot.

We do not have the brightest snake.

Herbie, the ball python (or, the "Burmese python" of "pet-eating" fame, see Mother :P) is not the smartest of snakes, I don't think.

He has been having trouble shedding for some time now. This can be solved by soaking in water. Which he has; a large dish is provided to him daily. But do you think it occurs to him to GET IN IT AND SOAK? Noooo. Not Herbie! When we cleaned his tank today, I actually had to stick him in the water, which he fought all the way down. He then, and only then, realized he felt better, and had a nice long soak.

Yeah, not the brightest snake. :P

MOTHERRRRR!!!!!

I'm trying to find a buyer for Mother again. :P Apparently, now my cousin's daughter is faking having celiac, according to Mom. Because, you know, Mom didn't hear that she had been diagnosed officially. Because there's n0 way a great-niece could have gone to the doctor without Mom knowing or anything. And certainly my cousin also having celiac disease isn't relevant. Oh, and starting the celiac diet and feeling instantly better means nothing. Nothing, Mom tellz ya!

The real problem is that Mother dislikes the cousin and all her family. Why, you ask? Because Cousin was nasty to her sister when they were growing up. Which she was. THIRTY YEARS AGO WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE KIDS!!!! Everyone else, including the purported injured party, is over it. Everyone except Mom, that is. And did I mention that none of Cousin's kids were born or thought of when all this was going on? So there's absolutely no reason to have it in for them too. Unless, of course, you're a flaming nutbar. (MOTHER!!!!!!) Le sigh.

Yeah, so...

I see how long THAT resolution lasted. :P But anyways...

Happy New Year, everyone!

Yeah, so I really dropped behind the 8-ball in blogging this last month. :P I think my New Year's resolution will be to blog every day, as I intended to when I first got this blog started. And to work on overcoming my cheese habit. :P Here's to 2009- may it at least suck smaller donkey balls than 2008 did!