I'm a-gonna be an auntie!

Yes, folks, you read it here first. There is a little Carolinelet on the way!!! :D This means that, as BFF, I am in charge of planning the baby shower. I have never done such a thing before, so this should be good. Childfree-er plans baby shower! Fox News at 11.

Um, why?

Why is a TV-show-turned-m0vie about these four women who most of America has nothing in common with, who do not resemble most American women in any way, wildly popular? Because, apparently, a lot of American women are dumb. :P

(Go see The Strangers instead. You won't regret it, though you may find yourself slightly insomniac after.)

So, it's Wednesday

Today's itinerary: Still feel sick. Spend most of day feeling gross.

On the bright side, Caroline is coming on Saturday. She is bringing her aged kitty, who she does not have room for at Boyfriend's house. Socks is coming to live out her remaining years at Casa Zen-Samoa. As she is already 15, these are likely to be few, but hopefully we can make them good ones.

When it doesn't pay to get out of bed

My day.

9:00- Get out of bed. Discover presence of migraine. Medicate for migraine.

10:15- Finish shower. Open door to discover presence of DD1, who is begging for WALKRIGHTNOW!!! Slap on some clothes and take him out, only to discover that he refuses to do his business. Hit elbow on doorknob on way out door.

11:00- Discover that medication has caused self to gain ten pounds since January. Am now officially heaviest ever in life. Immediately begin self-tapering off offending med.

1:15: Arrive at work. Go about duties. Discover that one client is having a "sensitive" day and is bursting into tears when you tell her anything that, in any way, shape, or form, resembles "no".

3:00- Discover that major part of nurse's duties has been overlooked. Discover, upon further investigation, that this is because nurse is no longer employed due to erratic behavior. Spend next hour resolving mess.

4:00- Go to grocery store. Leak raw BBQ chicken juice over several bags.

5:00- Hide in med room and whimper quietly.

5:30- Flee to home.


Oh, and while all this is going on, suffer raging PMS and cramps. In 80 degree heat with 150% humidity.

Some days it is just not worth the bother of getting out of bed.

Tagalong strikes again

More evidence that Tagalong is dumber than a brick, if we didn't know already.

Tagalong (and Mother Samoa, to an extent) have a lovely habit of calling us every time some random person that Mr. Samoa doesn't remember from Samoa Homestate dies, or someone from Samoa Church that he also doesn't remember. They then want us to go to the viewing or funeral, which is inevitably in two hours, and get huffy when we don't go because 1)we don't have a transporter beam and 2) Mr. Samoa has no idea who this person is, and I sure as hell don't either.

So, bearing this in mind. Daisy's dad, Tagalong's ex, was rushed to the hospital last week with a potentially life-threatening health problem. He is OK, but it had to be scary for Daisy, and it was, well, lifethreatening. Now, we aren't fond of Tagalong's ex, but the ill will we have is more like wishing for birds to poop on his head and malware to hose his hard drive, NOT death, for God's sake. Sooo.....

Do you think Tagalong calls and tells us that the FATHER OF HER CHILD nearly died? Oh hell no. We got the news from Mr. Florida, Mr. Samoa's friend who was watching the dogs this weekend. Mr. F nearly fell over when he learned we didn't know. So, can't bother to tell us that the FOHC is in intensive care at death's door, but has to call us every time Mrs. Finglehammer who sat three rows across from them in church and showed up once a month has a hangnail.

Yeah, Tagalong is not so bright.

Memorial Day

It was kind of a sad commentary on the times. Mr. Samoa and I hit the cemeteries, for Caroline's mom and my grandma, every Memorial Day. The cemetery where Caroline's mom is buried has a rather large military section. While we were there, we saw a dug-up section of the military area that we first thought was some type of construction. It wasn't. It was new military graves. :(


OK, you all know that I am the most apolitical creature out there. But I feel I have to say this to our current government, such as it is. LET. IT. GO. Get out of there. Stop lying to our troops who just want to make a better life for us and their families. Stop telling them they're protecting us when all they are protecting is your frigging oil stock portfolio. I am sick and tired of it. We are all sick and tired of it. You aren't going to win anything any more, so quit deluding yourselves. I am sick of young kids the age of the students I taught, getting blown to smithereens, and, God help some of them, sometimes surviving the explosion. If surviving you can call it. We don't believe you any more. The Iraqi people sure as hell don't believe you. Get the hell out of there and quit killing our troops and let the Iraqis go about their business. If you want terrorists, why don't you check out places like, oh, Afghanistan, WHERE THEY ARE??? That would be the best Memorial Day remembrance of all.

That is all.

Back from the wilds

Mr. Samoa and I just got back from Treefilled County, where we spent the weekend at a lovely medieval style inn there. We had a pretty good time, though we are both the kind who only sleep well in our own bed and we are going to sleep like the dead as a result tonight. :P

One shares tables at mealtimes, and we were seated with a young couple about our age. I felt sorry for the poor wife, as she was a new mother (the baby was 2 months old and staying with Grandma) and was clearly looking for someone to compare notes with. So who did she and her husband get seated with? Me, the Childfree Hag, and two older couples whose children were likely older than she was. I was contemplating climbing onto the table and shouting, "Can we get another new mother in the house for this poor lady??" The waitress was also a trifle disconcerting. A gentleman at our table was allergic to peanuts (read this: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/peanut-allergy/DS00710 to see why the following is inappropriate) and the waitress kept joking about putting peanut products in his food! He was joking back with her, but I nearly had a heart attack of my own, because the nearest EMS is 12-15 minutes away from this place! He was looking pretty frisky this morning, so I assume she wasn't serious; however, if I ever develop a food allergy of my own I think I will pack a sack lunch.

A surreal anniversary

Mr. Samoa was in a bind. You see, today is our anniversary, and he had not gotten around to shopping for anything for me. So, he was driving home from work, figuring out how to get something, anything, but he had no time, being as he wanted to get home first so I didn't get flattened by psycho dogs. As he drove, he contemplated his imminent demise. What thoughts went through his head only he can know.

Meanwhile, we go back in time two days. I was at Wal-Mart for some reason or another when I saw a lovely necklace in the jewelry display counter. "My, that is lovely," I thought. "I would like to have that. And it's only $28. But there are other, more expensive things I need/want more. Oh well. Such is fate." And I shuffled off to the produce aisle, somewhat glumly.

Returning to the present day. As I drove home, I was contemplating if there would be any possibility of getting said necklace for our anniversary. I hadn't come up with anything by the time I got home. As I pulled up, Mr. Samoa appeared in the breezeway. Nervously, he confessed, braced any minute for the knell of doom to land upon his head. "You didn't?" I exclaimed joyously. "Oh, good!" "Huh??" replied Mr. Samoa, not having expected to remain this side of the mortal veil for this point in the conversation. "Boy, am I glad to hear that!" said I. " I have just the thing picked out!" So, a befuddled Mr. Samoa and I proceeded Wal-Martward and returned, triumphal, with the necklace.

The moral of this story? You just never know!

The computer is here!

And this is my very first ZOC post from the new computer!!! I am in the process of reassembling everything to get it how I want it. but...


I LIKE VISTA!!! There! I said it! Ha ha! Take that, computer geeks!

Seriously, I think that I am partially influenced by the fact that Firefox for Vista behaves much like Safari for Mac, which I have spent the past week exiled to. (My prediction that the new computer would arrive just as I had gotten my Mac profile to my liking came true as well. :P) But, I am very much enjoying the new machine so far.

There was one amusing story. We got a very good price on this computer, which was because it had been refurbished. As a consequence of being refurbished, it came in the same box that it had gone to the original consumer in. Written in "redneck scribble" in ballpoint pen on the outside of the box was the phrase: Return. Skeakers do not work "either". Interestingly enough, the "skeakers" worked just fine when Mr. Samoa turned them on and when I went to a webpage with sound. We think Bubba Bob hadn't quite mastered the concept of the volume knob. :P Consequently, however, the means by which audio emits from electronic devices are now "skeakers" in the Samoa household from now until the end of time. :D

The apocalypse is nigh

Tagalong and Mr. Samoa's parents each sent us anniversary cards. On time even! Early, at that! This is so notable because of what they used to do, to wit, do nothing, then when some third party (one of Tagalong's friends or whatever) would mention it, they would go into this big overblown, "Oh, tee-hee, we, like, meant to and stuff, but it just totally slipped our minds!" routine. Finally, one year I lost it. I said, "No, you didn't. If you had meant to you would have done it. If you don't want to send cards or whatever, that's your business entirely, but don't claim you were going to when clearly you didn't intend to do anything of the sort!" I think that was year before last. Last year, we got late cards, which we were actually suitably impressed by. This year they are on time even! I would like to think that this represents improvement, but cynical old hag that I am, I'm wondering which of them has a major house or computer part broken that needs fixed. :P

It's only a flesh wound!

So Firstcat decided she should get on my lap. Unfortunately, she did this with all four sets of claws fully extended. :P I repaired the gashes on my leg, and deployed the claw clippers. Not necessarily in that order. I think Firstcat is plotting to kill us in our sleep now. However, she'll do it without claws!

People

Mr. Samoa and I were talking about how he needs to go out less last night. Not that there is anything wrong with him going out with his friends. (Did you hear THAT, Tagalong? I SAID, I have no problem with him being with his friends! So you can just stop spouting that right now! But I digress.) But, he's gone 2-3 nights a week what with one thing and another, he isn't keeping up his end of chores as a result, and I can't keep up by myself.

Anyways, we came up with a mutually acceptable plan. However, as we were discussing it, I realized that Mr. Samoa, try as he might, still doesn't really "get" one very big thing about me. I don't like being around people. It has nothing to do with me needing to get to know them, or to do it more, or any of that. I just DON'T STINKING LIKE SOCIALIZING!!! While Mr. Samoa isn't particularly outgoing, he does like to be around people, and he just doesn't get that I don't like it. Nothing really even against them, but people drain me. I like to sit around by myself and compute. And, I don't really know how to explain it to him, either. But, I'm still not going to this stuff with him. Nice try! :P

Still waiting

Still waiting on the computer here. I have pretty much got my profile pieced back together after the Great iTunes Meltdown of 2007, in which Mr. Samoa completely hosed the Mini and had to wipe it all and start over. I apparently had not accessed my profile on here since then! I fully expect to have everything back to how I want it, just in time for the new computer to arrive. Since I doubt Overstock ships on the weekends, I shouldn't think it will go out until Monday. I just hope it gets here before we leave for the weekend, as that could get interesting! :P

Still Mini-ing

On the bright side, I did also find a nice computer desk on eBay to put the new computer on. I have been monitoring the overstock.com order tracking link anxiously. It says the order has been "accepted", whatever that means. It just needs to hurry up and get here. I have not been able to easily play Diablo II in some time (just you try whacking a lightning-enchanted carver with only a touchpad at your disposal!)  and with the way work has been going, I am jonesing for some Diablo.

I can has new computer- RIP laptop

The good news: I am getting a brand new (well, refurbished, from overstock.com) desktop system complete with monitor. The bad news is that I am getting this because the old laptop gave up the ghost today. Well, you can turn it on, but I wouldn't recommend it because it starts making this horrible sound like a lawnmower is dying right inside your living room and you'll have to turn it off in a hurry so it doesn't overheat anyways. This post is being typed from the somewhat crowded confines of my profile on Mr. Samoa's Mac Mini. Tomorrow Mr. Samoa is going to take it to work and get all the data off of it and burn it to disk, then we'll be conducting the funeral after that. Can one safely cremate a Compaq Presario?

(Hurry up and ship, Overstock!!!)

You wanna talk about politics?

Actually, no I don't. Not at all. I am in agreement with the next line of the Korn song- "Don't give a shit about politics!" I am so sick of election news, political debates, etc. I hate debates and debating. Why would you WANT to go get in a fight, on purpose, with people? I don't get it.

So yeah. This election can get over with any time it feels like it.

ASSumptions

So Mr. Samoa was at work, and he was talking to this guy. Something came up, and the guy was like, "You'll understand when you have kids." Mr. Samoa kind of gave him the smile and nod. The guy was like, "No, really, you'll understand when you have kids."

Mr. Samoa didn't bother to correct him, a decision with which I don't necessarily disagree, as to do so could get messy in a business environment. However. Making ASSumptions like this are unwise, people! I mean, we just don't like the little buggers. What if he had been talking to someone who was having fertility problems or whose wife had had like 9457457 miscarriages or something- how would they have felt? You have no way to know what's going on with people's reproductive decisions/opportunities. Therefore, stay AWAY from the "when" word, people! You don't know if it's a "when" unless the kid is standing there right in front of you, in plain view. Actually, staying away from "when" is a good decision in general, IMO.

A rash of narcolepsy

Apparently we have had a rash of people sleeping while on the night shift. While I might tactfully submit to the Big Boss that this might not happen if all the staff were not exhausted from understaffing, that is not all of the problem. I don't get how you could sleep on shift while at my work. I would be too convinced that the house would catch fire, residents would eat each other, etc. to sleep so much as a wink. This is why I try to avoid getting stuck during bad weather at all costs. I would not sleep for the entire 72 hours, or however long I was stuck there, and I might never move again! (Lack of sleep causes flares.)

But, the point being. Don't sleep on the night shift, people. Not only is it dangerous for the residents, but I could really live without the bad mood your sleepitude puts Big Boss in. You aren't the ones who deal with it during the day! Perhaps you should be. :P

Mothers Day redux

Today went well too. Mom wanted to go here: http://www.buxtoninn.com/ so we did. It was very tasty; I can highly recommend the Chicken Victoria. The Coquille of Seafood does not suck either, nor does the Virginia Ham. We got Mom a Russian nesting doll and a begonia. She was very pleased with the doll (she collects them) and she liked the begonia too. (A shoutout to my man at www.nickolai-gurgeiff.com for the doll.)

From there we proceeded to Cousin's. Got to see my younger cousin who we hadn't seen since last Mothers Day. Cousin is looking good- her hair looks exactly like an old haircut I had! Ate BBQ, heard a bit more than we wanted to about celiac disease but it's an improvement on hearing about dyslexia. We are going to make it to Aunt's 4th of July celebration this year. (Ah SAY, we ARE...) So, now to go back to work so we can get some rest!

The Grendel Report

She has gotten enough money together to get her car fixed (and did so) and has been invited to apply for a full-time position by the company she's been temping at. I think she just wasn't cut out for here out West, but I do hope she learned some important lessons while she's here. She's not a horrible person and if she can learn that there are other people in the world besides herself, I think she will do just fine.

Mothers Day Follies

Because we would like our mothers to both have nice celebrations that do not involve me shanking Tagalong on the back patio, we do Mothers Day separately for both our mothers. Mr. Samoa and I go see Mother Samoa on the Saturday and then we do my mom on the Sunday.

Today was Mother Samoa's day. We got her a nice card (thank you Wal-Mart for making faux scrapbooked cards so it didn't matter that I didn't have time!) and a begonia, and took her out to dinner. She liked the begonia well enough but I think she liked the steakhouse best. :D I did not control my brain-mouth filter as well as I might have liked to but overall all went well. Tomorrow, we hit Mom's and then Cousin's BBQ. On Monday, I go back to work to relax. :P

Business trip nearly over

Mr. Samoa is nearly back from Boston. He was at last check-in, however, sidelined by a flight delay. They had them all in the plane while they were trying to fix a (non-critical) technical item. I advised him that he was not to permit them to pull the same thing they pulled on the poor souls in I think it was New York sometime back (10-15 hours trapped on the runway). Because he would let them. He thinks it's "rude" or "mean" to complain or something, so he doesn't, and then things happen to him that are similar to getting stuck in a giant aluminum foil tube for 15 hours on sweltering blacktop. (It would be one thing if he didn't also get mad when I am less than enthusiastic about getting walked all over. But that is a rant for another day.)

But anyways, hopefully he will be home soon. And maybe Pumpkin will calm down. If he does not, I swear I'm shipping him straight back to Japan in my leftover Skechers box.

Work bulletin

"Alvin" has returned from his native continent, where he was visiting relatives for three months. Alvin is qualified to pass meds AND has signed up for a bajillion shifts. Did I mention that we really, really missed Alvin? And that I cannot recall the last time I have ever been so glad to see someone come back? :D

Memo to Nearby Fancy Medical Clinic

"Stacey" is one of my favorite people in the whole entire world. Either fix her pain, or I am going to drive up there and kick your over-degreed asses all the way to Canada.

That is all.

Yay payday!

So I have money now, if the solder pops again. :D (It hasn't, BTW. Dad Samoa must have put the smack down on it because it hasn't leaked so much as a drop since then.) I have purchased Mother's Day gifts for all moms around, some makeup items, a hanging basket (Yep. I so totally needed another one.) and a new skirt. I am on a kick of trying to replace pants with skirts. Skirts are more comfortable for me and easier to stuff my fibromyalgic ass into. They also are nice and flowy, especially those designed for holy rollers as "modest". Stop me before I get loose in Wal-Mart again!

Aaauurrrggghhh!!!

Let me tell you about MY day.

As is so often the case, everything was fine until I got to work. To make a long story short, I wound up hauling 400 lb. of topsoil and 80 lb. of mulch. This is a really stupid thing for people with fibromyalgia to do. Then, I went home.

I walked in the door to discover that one of the solders on a joint in the recent hot water heater fiasco had popped and there was water all over the floor. The checkbook and savings account are in Boston with Mr. Samoa, as I didn't expect to NEED any money because there's plenty to eat here and he left me gas money. So no money to hire a plumber. So I called Dad. "Oh," he says, "you'll just have to resolder it." "Um, Dad, that's not going to work," I advised him, because the closest that I have come to solder in about 10 years is acrylic fingernail glue. "Where's Mr. Samoa?" he asked. "Um, Dad. In Boston. Like I distinctly heard him tell you." "Ohhhh...." So he advised me to try duct tape and a hose clamp. Which I procured. But..

When I got back from procuring same, I discovered that the dogs had shredded a puppy pad. All over the place. Like, into its component atoms. So I decided to wait on that, and fix the leak. This was where I discovered that I did not, after all, know how to work a hose clamp. Right about then was where I lost it. I called Mr. Samoa in hysterics, and he advised that I call his dad. I did, and God bless him, FIL drove an hour to fix the miserable thing. I will remember this the next time I gripe about the ILs, and I will have to think of some suitable reward.

So, thankfully, that is all that ends well, at least for the moment. But, I forgot the really good part. Somewhere in there, work left a voicemail wanting to know if I could come pass meds!!! I got myself calmed down enough so as not to kill the messenger, and called to say, "Um, no. No I cannot. Not unless you have pontoons for me to put on my house." Fortunately, this explanation did not prove necessary as they had found someone, but that was really the cherry on the sundae. (Oh, and I did clean up the puppy pad. And I apologized to the dogs for screaming "I HATE YOU!!!" at them at the top of my lungs.) I told Mr. Samoa that I'd rather have flown to Boston. I'd rather deal with the TSA. Hell, I'd rather deal with a shoe bomber. I'd have an excuse to kick the crap out of someone after all this!

Water is back on

Thank God. I believe we owe its return to the fact that we stocked up on bottled water when we went to the grocery store, including a 3-pack of gallon jugs. Bugpit owes us big.

20 hours

That is how long it took, total, for the water heater to get installed. Mr. Samoa took from 10 at night until 6 in the morning to get the last solder in, as the joint kept breaking. And thennnn.... WE HAD A WATER MAIN BREAK! This had nothing to do with us and is not our problem, but it led to several moments of panic as I went to take my shower and kind of had to take more of a trickle. So, basically we have very low water pressure and we are both exhausted... and we still have to clean the house and go to the grocery store! Go us! I am guessing that this is the "for worse" in the "for better or for worse" part of the vows. :P

Water heater redux

Well, the thing is in, and installed. Mr. Samoa is now working on ONNNNE.... LAAASTTT...... SOLDERRR..... and then all we have to do is light it, and then it will be done. We sent Dad home about an hour ago, being as I figured we could manage not to set ourselves on fire with what little remained to be done.

The lowdown: SIX trips to the hardware store. As follows:

* One to get the propane blowtorch and solder stuff

* One to get a wrench they needed and didn't have

* One to get the actual water heater. (Big Blue Home Store claims they have water heaters for $150. That is a filthy lie. The cheapest was $269, for a 30-gal. instead of a 40-gal. Fortunately we can get away with a 30-gallon tank. )

* One to get the fittings, which they forgot.

* One to exchange the wrong fittings for the right fittings. (As it turned out, they had been accidentally overcharged in the first place, so it was just as well they had to go back.)

* One to get an extra length of pipe when the one they had was three. inches. too. short.

Dad was here for twelve hours. The operation is currently in Hour 13, with Mr. Samoa working on the last weld. I fully expect it to go up until midnight. :P

In work news, one of the two dayshift girls got stuck working over. I am so sick of this stuff happening. I am going to go in Monday and work on the schedule all week, and I WILL get coverage if it's the last thing I ever freaking do.

Good times!! :P

Water heater madness

I am considering moving to Namibia. Or some place equally remote and far away.

You see, our water heater has broken down and begun leaking, it being only seventeen years old. :P So, Mr. Samoa and my dad are currently in the process of replacing it. There is rusty water everywhere, they had to gouge the thing out with a blowtorch, and they are currently on their second trip to the hardware store. It is a good thing we have one a mile away. Said hardware store owner is going to be retiring to Aruba on our nickel at this rate. I am thinking we really, really should have sucked it up and called a plumber.

In other news, work has only called once so far today, and not left a message. They no leavey message, I no helpey. Retirement, anyone?

Moonlight

If this show is not renewed for a second season, I will go medieval on CBS' ass.

That is all.

Happy May, and work

Happy May Day to all!

Now for work: If we do not get some staff soon, my head is going to explode. I have been working since Wednesday on getting coverage for this weekend, and we still have one shift left. I cannot fill it as we have to replace the hot water tank on Saturday, the day in question. So I have no idea what we are going to do. Sob and drink, I should think.