Oh, FFS

To anyone considering subleasing an apartment: When you move out of it, you should advise the people that you are leasing it from, so that they can check it for damages. If nothing else, they will be a trifle peeved to learn the news that you are moving out a week early from the new tenant, who wants to know if SHE can move in early.

Which she cannot do. Because your darling boys, Damien and Chucky, have trashed the place. There are nails and nail holes in the walls, stickers on the closet door, the handle has been broken off the freezer (HOW???), there are holes in the walls and unidentifiable stains on the carpet, and graffiti on the picnic table. To say nothing of the smell of rotting corpses coming from the sink drain and the giant chunk of paint missing from the kitchen wall. Um, yeah. You're not getting THAT deposit back from the Zen-Samoas. Not that we could give it to you if we wanted to, because you have left no forwarding address.

(We have exactly six days of having to worry about our old lease left. We are not sorry.)

To Mr. Chris Rock

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for giving standup concerts that get posted on YouTube and cheer me up. More people owe their lives to you than you will ever know. ;)

More of same

Today's festivities:

6 AM: Get up. Discover that dog has pissed on slipper. Just one slipper. Oh, and the throw rug.

9 AM: Stacey experiences unfortunate medical event that, while not as serious as it appears, and it resolves, gives Zen heart attack.

11 AM: Receive phone call from boss inquiring why I told Staffer X that I was at training. Problem being: I said no such thing. Turns out Staffer X didn't write down what it was I did say, and she gave the incorrect note to the wrong person, resulting in a game of "telephone". Find self unable to contact boss to advise of same. Call SaneStaff and advise her of the story. No further phone calls result, so assume SaneStaff has fixed it.

7:15 AM-2:45 PM: Stacey is experiencing "bad day" with her condition. There is not a damn thing I, or anyone else, can do about this, nor does she expect us to. This is the really frustrating part.

4:15 PM: Call Mr. Samoa. Mr. Samoa is in a meeting, but for some god-unknown reason answers phone anyway. Is curt throughout and then says "I'm in a meeting." "Um, why didn't you either not answer it or just say so?" "Ummmm..."

Am contemplating running away to join the Amish.

Oh, and....

It has been pouring rain, thunder and lightning all day. I am surprised there have been no plagues of locusts.

Gurk

My day:

7:00- Arrive at work.

9:00- Receive call from central office. Four timesheets are lost. One of them is mine. Am able to redo mine, find one, and discover that a third does not exist, but who the hell knows what happened to the fourth. This all takes about three hours.

10:00- In midst of timesheet crisis, power goes out. The timesheet crisis is dependent on fax machines, which are dependent on electricity. Outage lasts only about two minutes, or 37,000 years crisis time.

12:00- One of the two afternoon shift people calls off. This means that someone else must be found. This procedure takes about an hour, after which time I am left babbling, rocking back and forth and clutching the phone.

And that's before the part where I was nearly left by myself with five residents. You know it's bad when that turns into the LEAST of your problems. I was never so glad when Stacey's primary person called to have me work there tomorrow before in my life.

Memo to the overnight staff

Should a dayside staff vanish, it is wise, even desirable, to schedule a replacement, as you did. However, it is also wise and desirable to notify the boss that you have successfully done so. That way she won't have to call me. Because I might be feeling generous and go in, only to have a photo finish with the one you called.

That is all.

(We both stayed- I caught up on some stuff. I guess this is nature's way of making up for when we had no staff at all!)

The Drama Llama has moved

He has, fortunately, departed to his native Peru, hopefully never to be seen again. (Though I doubt that last part.) You see, both Tagalong and FOHC, Daisy's dad, have acquired significant others. This has turned out to mean that:

* We do not hear screeching from Tagalong as she tries to meddle in how FOHC runs his household, nor has FOHC been attempting to insert himself into hers.

* Tagalong no longer tries to browbeat Mr. Samoa into fixing her house when it breaks. She just has SO do it.

*FOHC's girlfriend is a teacher, so this has meant that Daisy gets her homework done and FOHC is providing lunches, etc. appropriately. This has also meant less screeching from Tagalong.

I have met the boyfriend once and the girlfriend never, but I love them both already. They have made my life less dramarrific just by their mere presence.

(Now to work on Mother about "yes, Caroline is pregnant. No, she is not married. Yes, this is something to be happy about. YES SHE IS GETTING MARRIED NOW STOPPIT ALREADY!!!" I think that one's going to wait awhile. :P