Survived the fair

And knew the humiliation of being outrun by a 5 months pregnant woman. :P We did pretty good, though. Hit Lush, then the fair, then wound up at Babies R Us. Made some baby shower plans. Am now tired.

Just in case

I'm posting this because I'm off to the State Fair with Caroline tomorrow and then Thursday I have an eye appointment. Thusly, I must be sure to get my 31 posts for July in while I still can. :D

Finally, the straight story

Tagalong is, in fact, engaged. And Poor Schmuck and his two boys have moved in with her. I wish all of them well. PS and Boys are going to need it. :P

Fright in the night, again

Got a bit of a scare last night!

I was sitting in bed, reading. Mr. Samoa was out in the living room doing the same. Black Quix 1 was sitting on the windowsill, when all of a sudden she started growling and bristling. Both behaviors are extremely unusual for Black Quix. "This cannot be good," I thought. I called out to Mr. Samoa to turn on the porch light. He had heard the growling as well, and was also a bit unnerved. I looked out the window, couldn't see anything, but Black Quix was still growling and bristling. Then Mr. Samoa came in the bedroom and looked out the window. He chuckled and said, "Look out there, right at the stairs."

The dread beast that had caused all this trouble was the fat gray cat from the farm that's up on Felix' Road, about a quarter mile away. We have mice and baby rabbits running around, so it was almost certainly in pursuit of one or the other. It finally saw Mr. Samoa looking at it and sprinted off. Apparently Black Quix had seen it and was just being Territorial Kee. We praised her for her bravery in driving off the fiendish creature. :D

Not much to report

Yesterday, did absolutely nothing. The main highlight of the day was when we went and got cat food. My vacation is officially begun as of Monday!!!

TODAY

Death Migraine 99% gone. Vacation next week, YAY!!! No word on Mr. Samoa so far. It's now nearly noon and he hasn't come home a sobbing, unemployed wreck, so I suppose no news is good news. TGIF, in any case.

THURSDAY

Got fed up with migraine and went to ER for medication. Medication lasted about 5 hours, then head pounded for rest of day. Mr. Samoa spent 14-hour day at work, then came home a babbling wreck. Apparently the Widget Guru had neglected to tell him and his group about a key component, without which the widgets will not run. This happened at 6:45 P. Mr. Samoa's boss wanted the widgets to go on their inaugural run today (Friday). Ain't happening, as you might imagine. :P

WEDNESDAY

The Death Migraine started. And of course I cannot get my Imitrex refilled until Aug. 4, so could do nothing but pop Excedrin and pray. Got my recertification to pass meds done, so I can stuff pills down residents for another year. Head throbbed. Mr. Samoa was stuck at work until 8 P, working on the same contingent of computer pixies.

Oh, we're behind again

So here goes.

TUESDAY: Mr. Samoa stuck at work until an ungodly hour which I forget. I believe it was the work of computer demons. I am trying to remember what in the Sam Hill I did. Nothing is coming to mind, which I am guessing is a good thing.

Yay!

Mr. Samoa received top ratings on his workplace evaluation, contract renewal for next year (we figured, but it's always nice to know for sure) AND a nice raise. We had calzones to celebrate. Yay Mr. Samoa!

Today

Had Mom's birthday celebration today. We went to the conservatory and saw butterflies. We also saw an autistic boy, who was behaving perfectly fine; his autism was not the attention-catcher. What WAS the attention-catcher was his mother, who was carrying on as if he were deaf, stupid and under three years of age. None of the above were the case. For some reason, she was grilling him on various topics, not all of which were related to butterflies or flowers, as if she were an agent at Guantanamo and he a hapless captive mistaken for a member of Al-Qaeda. I would have bitten her on the leg if I were him, I think. Otherwise, a good time was had by all; we had cake at home. Presents went over well also.

SATURDAY

Not a lot. Miraculously, I did NOT have to go and pass meds at all. Mr. Samoa attended the 18th birthday party of his friend's son. (I did not go, having stuff to do for Mom's birthday.) We got the lad a Radio Shack gift card, on the premise that there has to be something at Radio Shack that an 18-year-old boy would like. No word on that as yet.

Catching up II- FRIDAY

Got Mother Samoa on her way, her babysitting being over. As nearly as I can determine, I am a hopeless bimbo, while poor Daisy's feet are too big, she's too fat and she does not eat acceptable food. I'm thinking I should have sent some vodka over for Daisy.

Dangit

I screwed up the type. Let's see if I got it now.

Now?

Now?

Hah! GOT it!

Random thoughts

I am typing this post from home, where I decided to take a sick day. Gutting it out was not improving my guts any, pun only slightly intended, so here I am. I am feeling much better, so I think it was a good idea.

Mother Samoa was telling last night about her older sister who died in infancy. Apparently, from what little she has been told over the years, the baby had multiple disabilities, and it boiled down to, the doctors didn't think the baby would be worth saving. Grandma Samoa was not consulted at all, and Grandpa only as a point of information.

Now, we have gone through this in training for work, and whenever these things make our blood boil, as they often do, they always tell us, "Well, it was the ethos of the day, blah blah blah..." I know it was. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. No matter how you try to pretty it up, it's just wrong, wrong, wrong. Who the HELL do these people, doctors and such, think they ARE to make those kinds of decisions about a human life? I can tell you that it is a lie that the life of a person with a disability has no meaning for anyone. I know it is a lie because it has meaning for ME. And I know I'm not the only one. I work with and around many others for whom this is true, every day. (And we won't even start on the fact that it has meaning for the person themselves, because that should be bleeding obvious!)

Who wants them? I want them, dammit. I want my FRIENDS. And like I said, I know for a FACT that I am not the only one. So, people out there who think otherwise can bite my ass. They're still out there. But we'll get rid of them, just you watch. We're everywhere! (mwahahahahaaaaaaaaa...)

This has been your rant for the day. We now return you to your regularly scheduled humor blog.

Ah, the residents

Couldn't do my job without 'em. Aside from the obvious, that I wouldn't have a job if they weren't there, they keep me going.

As I just posted, I have felt like ass all week, and continue to do so. But, I still had to do grocery shopping for the home. So, I packed up Tricia, our highest-functioning client, and off we went. I sort of had a list, but I was kind of pushing the cart zombie-like. So, Tricia actually did the shopping, I just pushed the cart and paid. Consequently, we have lots of chicken, hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, spaghetti, etc. at the home right now. Not that the other residents will object, as they all love that stuff too. Tricia kept looking me like I was off my rocker; every time she'd ask for something, I'd be like "Sure... yeah... whatever... pudditinnacart..." :P Oh well, at least they're fed!

I want a new stomach

Mine has been acting out for nearly a week now. I thought it might be flu at first, but now I think it's a recurrence of the mysterious stress-related ailment that last reared its head when Dad was in the hospital for an exploded gallbladder last year. So, I am going to do what I did last time, to wit, subsist on soft foods until it settles down. :P (Did you know that wishing to purchase yogurt that is neither vanilla nor fruit-flavored is apparently a tremendously unreasonable request? At least, if you believe the yogurt companies it is. I did track some down, but not without a fight. )

Blame Mr. Samoa

I was going to blog more yesterday, but he started making this big production out of the fact that I was blogging, while Mother Samoa was sitting right there. I would prefer that, in the interest of shalom bayis, that the extended Samoa family not know about "the Zen", as he calls it, so I had to stop there. Fortunately, he is Very Very Sorry and realizes that it was a Bad Idea. So, now to blog on the sly. ;)

I had a thought

But now it's gone. I just hope it wasn't important. :P

Poor pup!

We were supposed to go to Mom and Dad's today but I wound up feeling like ass so we didn't. This is how we happened to be home when Speedy, the neighbor dog, came to visit.

Speedy often comes over and visits DD2, but we hadn't seen him in a long time. When his mama came to get him, Mr. Samoa learned why. Apparently he has been deathly ill because of his dog food! They were feeding him Beneful Healthy Radiance, and he got sick. When they switched him, he got better. We were most pleased to see him and hear that he is better. When oh WHEN are they going to learn that melamine is supposed to be used for plates, not as a food ingredient?

Hrm

Nothing at all that's really particularly blogworthy has happened today. That kind of worries me. :P

Mother Samoa is coming to stay with us for a week on Sunday. She is going to be babysitting over at Tagalong's for Daisy and some of Daisy's friends. As we have more amenities than Tagalong's house, Mother Samoa will be crashing here. (Given Daisy, and given Daisy when she gets with her friends, I'm wondering if I hadn't better stock up on gin for Mother S.)

Mr. Samoa versus the Entitlement Whores, for the deodorant

Tonight, Mr. Samoa slew the wild hordes of stupid people, to win a stick of deodorant for his fair lady.

So, basically I needed some deodorant. Blocking the aisle, and I mean the entire deodorant aisle, was this family. Parents about our age, utterly oblivious, and these two hyperactive kids about 7-8 who were running up and down the aisle, shrieking at the top of their lungs, and grabbing at everything in sight.

No matter, we thought. We'll just go get this other item, and come back, and they'll be gone. We did. They were still there. "No matter," I said. "Let's get this other thing." Come back, still there. So, we went and got an item on the other side of the store. We came back and they were STILL THERE! Parents still staring bovinely at the Degree, kids still doing their best Taz imitations.

Mr. Samoa knew he had to act. He set his jaw firmly, a steely glare in his eye. "Wait here," he said. "I'm going in." Like a medieval maiden awaiting the return of her knight from battle, I hung out by the body wash while he grasped his trusty shopping cart by the handle and charged the ravening masses. Kids and parents scattered right and left as he bore down upon his target, the Secret Platinum section.

Presently he returned, triumphant, brandishing a tube of English Garden scent. Miraculously, it did dawn on the parents in the wake of Sir Samoa of Antiperspirant that they were blocking the aisle, and they moved on.

My hero!!!

Meow

Kitties wanted me to make a post for them so here it is. :D

Uggh

I think my stomach is going to explode. I have no idea why.

Posts going poof

I deleted one because it sounded kinda racist and I didn't want to come off like I thought the people mentioned were incapable of their job or something. I think you kinda had to be there. :P

Impending bankruptcy

I have discovered a new store. Variety Liquidations, in Deliverance City, is just that. They have all sorts of liquidated, clearance, etc. stuff. Most notably, they have a lot of Target's discontinued Hello Kitty stuff!!! My plan is to go up there and check out the stuff every Monday while Mr. Samoa is at gaming.

That thumping noise...

Is me slamming my head into my desk, repeatedly.

I received a phone message yesterday afternoon from Mom, to notify me that Dad was in the hospital with a kidney stone. He's had them before and it's generally nothing critical, but Mother has been untruthful in the past about the true critical nature of a situation, so I wanted to get ahold of them anyways. Called home, no answer. Called Aunt and Uncle, no answer. (All were visiting Dad, as it turned out.) I was able to get through to his room via the hospital switchboard. Mom couldn't talk for long because of the cramped quarters, so I asked Dad to ask her when she'd be home so I could call her then.

(Background. The Deliverance City fireworks had gotten postponed to last night because of the rain Friday. We had intended to go, but in unrelated events neither Mr. Samoa nor I felt up to it so we didn't. Mother knew we were intending to go.)

So, Dad asks her. She claimed she didn't know. I then told him to ask her what time visiting hours ended, thinking that end of hours + 1/2 hour would = ETA at home. He asked her, and then I hear this shriek of "But the FIREWORKS! They have to go to the FIREWORKS!"

o_O! So there I was trying to force my jaw off of the ground. Dad, even in his stoned state, had the presence of mind to lie. He told her, "Oh, they're still going! She just wants to know what time to call!" Thus, I got the info, call was made, all lived happily ever after. Dad sounded stoned but otherwise perfectly normal, and he's apparently insisting on wearing his Kenworth hat in bed, so I took all this to mean the situation was not grave; we are going up today. But, we are going to have to lie about the fireworks, because we wouldn't want to miss the fireworks just because Dad is in the HOSPITAL or anything!!! Because they certainly haven't happened every single year since 1776 and will never happen again! Also they are not available for purchase so you can do your own any damn time you want! (smoke billows from ears)

Mother Samoa put it best. She said, "I shouldn't laugh, but that is just so typical of your mom!" This is further proof of Caroline's long held theory that Mom is an alien being.

Off to shop

We are now off to Nearby State for shopping. (cackles maniacally as Mr. Samoa cringes)

Fourth of July Follies

I almost got stuck at work because we had what we thought was a no-show. This would have been only annoying, if I hadn't been in mega-pain. I had Mr. Samoa bring my pain pills. Then, the girl called. There had been a mixup as to what shift she was supposed to work, and she came flying in. So I only got stuck for two hours. I felt horrible even thinking about complaining, as the guy I was working with was pulling a double! But, alas, chronic pain calls. Oh well, wouldn't be a holiday at work without a crisis.

More walk news

Pups and I were out on our walk again. We were walking up the road when I saw an ambulance pull out of Felix' road. It wasn't going sirens and lights but it was headed purposefully for the hospital. I wonder if it is too much to hope that Felix finally poisoned himself on his own venom? I do so love karma.

Oopsie

I misplaced Mr. Samoa for about five minutes this evening.

He had gone out to mow the grass, which is less of a fight now that he finally got his $*%^$%^ power lawnmower. Presently, I realized that I didn't hear the mower engine. I went out to investigate. Mower is at rest in the front yard, no Mr. Samoa. I think maybe the thing ran out of gas, so check the garage. Still no Mr. Samoa. His car is still there, as is mine. I think he might have gone to the bathroom and I didn't hear him, so check the house. Still no Mr. Samoa. I'm debating whether or not I should panic at this point, so I decided to go check the property for a final time before calling in the Marines. I'm doing this when from our small, rather secluded side yard, I hear "Clip clip clip."

Yes, you guessed it. Mr. Samoa was in the side yard clipping renegade bamboo. I hadn't seen or heard him at first because he was concealed by bamboo. I felt like a big, fat dumbass.


(Speaking of my car, got it back from the shop. The "whoppity" is apparently a loose cover of some sort, which they could not manage to tighten back down. It will not harm the car but that sound is going to drive me slowly insane, so I think I'm going to put Mr. Samoa and Dad Samoa on the case. And perhaps some duct tape.)

Starting July off on the right foot

It must be the International Convention of Assholes this weekend or something.

Pups and I had just set out on our walk (we went nowhere near Felix's house, so as to avoid besmirching his rarefied air with our malign presence). We were getting ready to turn the corner when a station wagon pulled up to the stop sign. Suddenly, a roar of absolute rage erupted from the station wagon. I thought it might be Felix, and was just getting ready to explain to him that he could either leave by himself or leave with the cops, when I got a better look. It was a couple, a guy and a girl. The guy was throwing an absolute screaming fit at the woman, which could all be easily heard because his windows were down. The woman was just kind of staring out the window. She had the absolute saddest look on her face, a combination of resignation, "here we go again", and sadness. You could tell this was not the first time it had happened, nor was it likely to be the last.

Unfortunately, he didn't do anything handy such as attempt to strike her or start cursing, so calling the cops would have done absolutely no good. (Believe me, I thought about it.) To quote the Queen of the World, "what the fuck is WRONG with people?"