Skipping the important parts

So there's currently an ongoing debate about skipping children a grade in school on a board I frequent. I put a polite $.02 in and wandered off, because I had the distinct feeling that nothing I said could change anyone's mind in any case. But, that made me think of a piece I wanted to say.

Skipping a grade: Don't do it. Just don't do it, parents. Send 'em to private school, get them in gifted classes, homeschool them, get them tutors, send them off to join the circus, whatever. But don't skip them. My mother gets upset when I say this; I think she takes it as me blaming her for the problems I had later, but that is not so. They were doing the best they could with what information they had at the time. And, now I am informing current and future parents of schoolchildren that it is a bad idea.

It all began when I started school. Kindergarten, the teacher refused to believe I could read, which was a whole other mess. My cousin, who was in high school at the time at the same school, once said of it: "That was when I realized adults didn't always know best. It's a bizarre feeling when you're sixteen years old, and you're arguing with a forty-year-old teacher, and you know you're right!" First grade, they tried to give me "enrichment work". Read: More badly mimeographed worksheets. In ADDITION to still being required to do the regular work. There were not enough hours in the school day for me to get it all done, literally. So, I stopped doing any of it. This was when, at the end of first grade, it was decided that I would skip second grade.
Mother likes to say "You chose it!" Um, not exactly. I was called down to the principal's office one day, and Mom, my LD teacher (yes, you can be gifted and have an LD folks, not explaining further), and the principal were all there. I about coded right there. The LD teacher was the only one who realized this and said "You're not in trouble or anything!" I believe my exact thoughts were "Yeah, right!" (Oh, did I mention I was all of seven?) Then they asked me if I wanted to skip second grade. I would have agreed to cut off my arm if it meant I could get out of there, so I agreed to do it. Not my idea of voluntary. But anyway, that's how it all got started.

Disaster. Oh, I could do the third grade work, no problem. Socially, I don't think I was even on par with my age-mates, never mind kids a year older. And it showed. And we all know the kindness, tolerance, and patience shown by the typical elementary schooler to the different and/or immature. (I'll stop for a minute while you all finish rolling around on the floor laughing.) Meanwhile back at the ranch, other parents were mad that their speshul snowflakes didn't get skipped, so they told their children that I was snotty, stuck-up, etc. Which their children, all predisposed to believe the worst, lapped up. The absolute worst was seventh grade. We'd all left school at the end of sixth and everyone was normal. Then we all came back to junior high (this was when dinosaurs roamed the earth, before "middle schools") and WHOOOOOAAAHHHH all the other girls were into boys, boobs, and Tiger Beat, and I was still stuck back on Barbie. Yeah. Not fun. I think that year was pretty much what cemented my hatred for 99% of the rest of the human race. :P

While we're at it, let's not forget the part where teachers and other people who should have known better took every. single. opportunity to announce that I was a year younger. Did I mention I was a year younger? Because I was a year younger, you know. Remember that I was a year younger! And so on and on and on until I thought my head was going to explode. I had been one of the older kids in my "right" class, so it extra-special sucked. Let's not forget doing drivers ed a year later than everyone else! And still needing permission slips for field trips during fall quarter of freshman year of college! (I turned 18 in December, college started in September.) Oh, and lots and lots of boys want to date girls in HS that they see as a bratty kid! It's quite the turn-on! Or, you know, not. :P Honestly, the best part of grad school was NOT being younger than everyone else for once, having taken two years off in between undergrad and grad.

I did get to "save" one little girl, though. About three or four years after I graduated, a colleague of my mom's was offered the opportunity to skip her daughter. Said child, Abigail, had gone to Montessori kindergarten, and as a result was way ahead, so the school POTB were looking to have her skip first grade. Mom's colleague being a bit more forward-thinking, she decided to research the idea before telling them yea or nay, so she came to me. I told her all of the above, and added that it's not worth having your child be out-of-sync for the rest of their academic career (or life!) just to get them ahead a little. She took my advice to heart, sent Abigail to Montessori first grade and then to private school. Abigail's in high school now, and very normal, in-sync and happy. It does make me feel better to know I was able to help someone else avoid it, if I couldn't.

So, I guess my point is this. Parents, school only lasts 12 years (well, 16 for the college bound, but the point still stands). Your children are going to have to deal with people for at least 80 years. Which is more important, making sure they have the social skills they need to succeed or entering MIT at 16? You be the judge. I'll be at the prom, thanks.