We've been here exactly a year as of yesterday, and I was wondering where the neighborhood creep was, there being one in every neighborhood and all. I figured it was the sex offender, but he's actually very polite. (I just don't plan to accept any future offers for tea.) Nope, it was not.
I will say that it was another common specimen, the Little Old Guy With Nothing Better To Do Than Be An Asshole. We will call him "Felix", since that's one long-ass acronym and I don't know his name. So, there the dogs and I are, walking along as we have done most every day, when DD1 decides to take a dump at the edge of the road. It's technically, I suppose, someone's lawn (not Felix's! That was the kicker!) and it was indeed Bad Bad Zen not to have a baggie. We will take that as accepted fact. But...
So, having no means of remedying the situation, I walk on. Dogs and I turn around, come back, Felix confronts us. He says, in this snotty tone, "So, what's going to happen with the dog stuff?" (Note: Felix, should you read this, "Excuse me, could you please take care of that?" might have even gotten me to go home and come back with a baggie. You might want to try it next time.) I, taken aback, replied, "Um, if someone has a baggie, I'll be happy to..." thinking, fool that I was, that the point was to get the dog poo off the lawn.
No, the point was to weenie wag. And a shriveled weenie it must have been, because Felix snaps, "That's YOUR responsibility! You..." At this point, I am getting my coherence back and am NOT in the mood for the old fart. So I reply, "Well, sir, I apologize, and I will see that it does not happen again. However, if that's how you wish to handle this, there is not a blessed thing I can do about this right now. Have a nice day." I prepared to walk on, when Felix started again. "Well, you coulda..." I kept walking, and said, in my best "Resident, you put that down if you want to see the next sunrise" voice, "Have a nice day, sir."
The Voice has stopped better men than Felix cold in their tracks, and he was no exception. So, I got home, still shaking, as I hate confrontation. I was telling Mr. Samoa via phone about the whole sorry affair, when I realized the corkers:
1) It wasn't even in Felix's yard! Moreover, the actual owners of the yard were outside also and said nothing!!! So, we're not even clear on how Felix got mixed up in this!
2) This has happened before, and Felix has not done anything or said anything at all. Notable: Mr. Samoa has been with me on those few other occasions that it has. So, he apparently thought he would screw with a woman alone. Makes you wonder what ELSE he thinks it is OK to do to women walking alone. I am fully conversant with self-defense and could take him, but is that going to apply to, say, the college girls on the corner?
So, not going THAT way alone any more. And taking baggies when and if Mr. Samoa and I go. Lots of them.
Monday, June 30, 2008
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