Call me Beowulf

This story is actually one that happened a couple weeks ago. It's one of the more amusing things that's happened to me recently, so I feel the need to immortalize it here.

First, you need to know about Grendel. Grendel is our ex-roommate. Mr. Samoa (my husband) and I, upon buying a house, decided it would be a grand idea to allow Grendel, who was an old friend of mine, to rent our spare room. That idea was actually a primo piece of dumbassery, but I digress. Suffice it to say that Grendel is an individual of rather disgusting personal habits. Said disgusting personal habits are part of how the following came to be.

It was a fine Sunday here in our little town of Bugpit when I got the idea to make chicken and noodles. Since I had a package of drumsticks on hand in the freezer, I used these. I boiled them, then stripped the bones of meat and used the meat in the main course. Since we have dogs, and dogs and chicken bones do not mix, I placed them in a bowl and set it in the sink, intending to dispose of it later.

This all took place at 7 PM. After dinner, things happened as they often do, and I forgot about the chicken bones. When 11 PM and bedtime rolled around, I wandered into the kitchen for a bottle of water... and came upon Grendel. Grendel was hunched over the sink, gnawing on the chicken bones. Yup, gnawing on the chicken bones that had been sitting out, in the sink, happily serving as a labor-and-delivery ward for salmonella, for four hours. I work in healthcare, and I have seen some pretty disgusting things. However, this one took the prize.

Once I was able to stop myself from hypergagging, I shrieked "WHAT in the name of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph are you DOING??!!" The shriek brought Mr. Samoa running, and his reaction was much the same as mine, i.e. shriek in between cycles of retching. The only explanation Grendel was ever able to give of herself was "There was meat on them!" Mr. Samoa's response was of the finest: "Yeah! The bacteria noticed that too!"

I knew it was disgusting when I was telling the story to my friend, the Hawaiian Hottie, and he gagged. HH is a former reporter and has reported on some fairly gruesome stuff, and this grossed even him out. And so, Grendel's nickname was born, as was an idea for a new weight-loss empire. :P